Sarah Palin Puts Faith in God

'Cause . . . where the hell else you gonna put it?

Personally, I put my faith in large quantities of chocolate. We're talking pounds here, people. Believe it. And I don't have squat to show for it, except maybe a spare tire iron. (No, not a spare tire, a spare tire iron. It's heavy.)

If The Palin scores the Presidency in either 2012 or 2016, I HEREBY SWEAR that I will put my faith in God and will vote for the Republicon Party for the rest of time.

Here's what God's gift to stupid had to say:

"I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is."

Remember the guy who talked about God calling him home if his university didn't raise some millions? Who was that jerk-off. (And I don't want to give masturbation a bad name. To paraphrase Woody Allen, it's sex with some one I almost like.) Oral Roberts, that's the jerk-off.

God! Go Oral on Sarah Palin's ass, goddamnit!

Palin added:

And if there is an open door in [20]12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plough through that door.

Plough through that open door, Sarah. Just let the door be an exit on an airplane flying at 30,000 feet.

Sarah Palin and the Racist Death Threats Against Obama

Britain's Daily Telegraph (one of the more conservative papers there, but moderate by American standards) reports that the US Secret Service attributes the spike in death threats against Obama to Sarah Palin's race-baiting attacks.

What must be remembered, and what no major American media organization will dare say (especially since many take part in the phenomenon), is that racism is a key element of the standard American political tool kit. Hillary Clinton played the race card. And the list of Republicans doing so is nearly without limit: John McCain, Newt Gingrich, Tom Delay, Michelle Bachmann, Elizabeth Dole, Norm Coleman, Ted Stevens, and on and on. And this makes no mention of the right-wing pundits and talk show hosts who are even more brazen than the Republican officials (Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and the most revolting — Mike Savage).

Sarah Palin blamed by the US Secret Service
over death threats against Barack Obama
Sarah Palin's attacks on Barack Obama's patriotism provoked a spike in death threats against the future president, Secret Service agents revealed during the final weeks of the campaign.
By Tim Shipman in Washington
Last Updated: 4:04PM GMT 08 Nov 2008

The Republican vice presidential candidate attracted criticism for accusing Mr Obama of "palling around with terrorists", citing his association with the sixties radical William Ayers.

The attacks provoked a near lynch mob atmosphere at her rallies, with supporters yelling "terrorist" and "kill him" until the McCain campaign ordered her to tone down the rhetoric.

But it has now emerged that her demagogic tone may have unintentionally encouraged white supremacists to go even further.

The Secret Service warned the Obama family in mid October that they had seen a dramatic increase in the number of threats against the Democratic candidate, coinciding with Mrs Palin's attacks.

Michelle Obama, the future First Lady, was so upset that she turned to her friend and campaign adviser Valerie Jarrett and said: "Why would they try to make people hate us?"

The revelations, contained in a Newsweek history of the campaign, are likely to further damage Mrs Palin's credentials as a future presidential candidate. She is already a frontrunner, with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, to take on Mr Obama in four years time.

Details of the spike in threats to Mr Obama come as a report last week by security and intelligence analysts Stratfor, warned that he is a high risk target for racist gunmen. It concluded: "Two plots to assassinate Obama were broken up during the campaign season, and several more remain under investigation. We would expect federal authorities to uncover many more plots to attack the president that have been hatched by white supremacist ideologues."

Irate John McCain aides, who blame Mrs Palin for losing the election, claim Mrs Palin took it upon herself to question Mr Obama's patriotism, before the line of attack had been cleared by Mr McCain.

MORE >

Puppies Puppies PUPPIES

Raise your hand if you've enough about puppies. I have not listened to a radio newscast or watched the news on TV in the past two days without hearing about the Great Puppy Debate. More discussed than Afghanistan. More than the bonuses of overpaid, incompetent conmen on Wall Street. It's PUPPIES.

We have FDR and Nixon to thank for this — Fala and Checkers. Back in September 1944 during the presidential election, Republicon dirty tricks operatives charged Roosevelt with leaving Fala behind on the Aleutian islands, then sending a Navy destroyer to retrieve the dog. FDR delivered his now famous Fala speech:

These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. [laughter] Well, of course, I don't resent attacks, and my family doesn't resent attacks — but Fala does resent them.

FDR had a sense of humor about it all. It's become more serious since then. Eight years after FDR, almost to the day (September 1952), Nixon found himself accused of accepting $18,000 in illegal campaign contributions. (He must have been practicing.) In one of the early great uses of television, Tricky Dick rebutted the allegations but did admit receiving a dog — Checkers. He and his family were going to keep the dog, by gum.

This one is interesting. First, Nixon intuited how to use television. Something he supposedly forgot when he refused make-up in his debate with Kennedy. And something that should sound familiar today, Nixon denied that wife Pat had a mink coat: She had a "respectable Republican cloth coat".

With all the lessons that the Republicons have taken from Tricky, you might have thought that Sarah Palin could have learned that one. But then again, she is a person who thinks Africa is a country. (Probably in the same camp as Bush on that one.)

So now each President has to have a dog, and Obama is milking it for all it's worth. At least his kids really are thrilled.

Isn't it interesting that it's not enough that a President has to have a family — be a nice, straight, going-to-church person. He (someday she) has to have dog. Not a cat. Not fish. Not an iguana. A dog.

Sarah Palin Chats with Nicolas Sarkozy . . . Not!

This from the Guardian, but plenty of news organizations are carrying the story:

Maybe Sarah Palin should have caught on when the caller purporting to be Nicolas Sarkozy told her he could see Belgium from the Elysée Palace.

But the Republicans' vice-presidential candidate remained blissfully unaware during the six-minute conversation with a Montreal comedian that she was the victim of a prank - even after the fake Sarkozy said his wife, Carla Bruni, was hot in bed, and slipped in a line in French about how fun it was to kill baby seals.

The caller, Marc-Antoine Audette, was one half of a comedic duo called the Masked Avengers. Audette described his call with Palin as his greatest triumph.

The prank on one of the most heavily protected personalities in US politics was an instant internet sensation in the final hours of the presidential campaign.

MORE >

John Cleese on Sarah Palin

Tina Fey and Will Ferrell Bushify and Palinize

$150,000 For Palin's Clothes in Three Months

The "real American" is now a clothes horse for a wardrobe costing THREE TIMES what the average American makes in one year. And the Republicons spent this in three months.

OBAMA KIDNAPPED THE LINDBERGH BABY!

Republicons, led by John McCon and Sarah Plain, are pulling out the stops. Desperation will do that. Remember that this is a guy who tells us that experience — most especially the experience of Vietnam — has prepared him for all the troubles that might come down upon us. But McCon is acting more like the folks in a Hollywood spoof. PANIC! PANIC! He and Sarah are running around like the sky is falling.

So here's a partial rundown of the charges:

• Obama is a socialist.
• Obama is a mole for "jihadis"
• Obama is a crypto-Muslim
• Obama would let people like Mohommed Atta get a driver's license
• Obama is palling around with terrorists
• Obama pals around with uppity blacks like Jeremiah Wright
  

Who's this supposed to win over? Reagan Democrats — also known as "racists"? Barefaced, unabashed racists — also known as "Conservatives"?

Clearly, McCon and his Eva Braun need a little help. So it's time for a contest:

WHAT CAN OBAMA BE BLAMED FOR?

There need to be some ground rules:

1. Obama can only be blamed for events since 1900. Dred Scott decision is impermissible (bad example anyway, because McCain/Palin support Dred Scott). Benedict Arnold is right out.
2. Obama can only be blamed for events that will happen before the sun goes nova. End of the universe is off limits.
3. No dead languages, please. Welsh, Aramaic, French — all fine. No Etruscan.
4. Please avoid glaring contradictions (all other contradictions are fine). So blaming Obama for the US getting into Vietnam and for losing Vietnam is a stretch.
5. If you do feel compelled to blame Obama for something unusual like, say, the Crucifixion of Christ, please make it plausible — Obama will need a time machine.
   

Submitting your candidates (candidates, get it? . . . I made myself laugh)
Example:

Or . . .

"OBAMA SPEAKS IN TONGUES!"

Write your suggestion on the most offensive postcard you can find and mail to:

John McCain 2008
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

Or call 703-418-2008

Send in your idea and if McCain wins,
you get a "Special IRS Audit". So it's a win-win!

McPalin Action

Today I ordered McCain and Palin and action figures. I already have a George W. Bush Naval Aviator figure — fully poseable — and a "Jennifer" 101st Airborne Military Police figure. So I ordered McCain and Palin. Turns out those two aren't made.

I hope they get here soon. I need them to do a action animation before the election.

I think Jennifer looks eastern European.

Sarah Palin — Tinpot Petty Dictator

Late on a Friday, the news breaks that Sarah Palin did indeed abuse her power as Governor of Alaska. Late Friday so that the fewest possible people will actually get the news.

"Sarah Palin unlawfully abused her power as governor by trying to have her former brother-in-law fired as a state trooper, the chief investigator of an Alaska legislative panel concluded Friday. The politically charged inquiry imperiled her reputation as a reformer on John McCain's Republican ticket.

Investigator Stephen Branchflower, in a report by a bipartisan panel that investigated the matter, found Palin in violation of a state ethics law that prohibits public officials from using their office for personal gain."

PDF of report

The Guardian | NY Times | BBC | McClatchy | Washington Post
| Ha'aretz | Le Monde | San Francisco Chronicle

The November Not-So-Surprise

2000 — The Republicons, through one of two or three worst Supreme Court decisions in American history, successfully pulls off a Very American Coup.

2004 — Diebold and the Ohio Secretary of State deliver the state of Ohio's electoral votes to the Bush imperium.

2008 — Across the country, the Republicon Party is working to intimidate voters, strike voters from the rolls, and otherwise set the stage for another coup.

Steal Back Your Vote. We can combat the Republicon campaign to destroy the Constitution and democracy.

Believe it. Check former Republican LA District Attorney Vincent Bugliosi's essay in The Nation.

See also:

Bruce Ackerman. "Anatomy of a Constitutional Coup", London Review of Books. 8 February 2001.

The February Surprise (or Mind Your Vs and Ps)

According to John Nichols in The Nation, Katie Couric has released a bit more of her interview with Sarah Palin. (Why the hell she can't release the whole thing is anybody's guess. My guess is that the McCain Controllers are leaning on her and her masters.)

Couric evidently asked Palin which VPs she most admired.

"Palin's response? 'My goodness, I think those who have gone on to the presidency,' said the governor, without blinking."

Whoa, Nelly! Now, Nichols notes Nixon -- Eisenhower V who became P. And we all know where that went. (Palin promoted George H. W. Bush -- a one-termer. What's that about?)

BUT BUT BUT, my little droogies, let us consider that she speaketh in the context of McCain — aging, of indeterminate health, prone to heart-attack-provoking rages, psychotic, and terribly terribly terribly unsettled of mind (not unlike some others who shall remain unnaméd).

So let us consider some other Vs:

• Harry Truman, ascended following DEATH of FDR
• Lyndon Johnson, ascended following ASSASSINATION of JFK
• Andrew Johnson, following ASSASSINATION of Lincoln
• Chester Arthur, following ASSASSINATION of James Garfield
• Theodore Roosevelt, following ASSASSINATION of William McKinley
• John Tyler, following DEATH of William Henry Harrison
• Millard Fillmore, following DEATH of Zachary Taylor
• Calvin Coolidge, following DEATH of Warren Harding

O my little Droogies, do we see a pattern? What O What can dear Sarah be thinking?

Do the Republicons have a little plan? A February Surprise to follow the January 20th inauguration of a President McCain? Following the death of Henry VIII, Lady Jane Grey ruled England for all of nine days. How long does Sarah hope McCain will last?

Will he or won't he?