Roland Burris — Egopuniac

Roland Burris, appointed by the slimy toad aka Rod Blagojevich when the Senate seat sale was busted, was forced to eat some humble pie today when he was turned away from the Senate. More than a little hypocritical of the other slimy shites who mark the enamel of that body, but let's face it: Just because Blagojevich was more brazen doesn't make him or his choice any more palatable.

Meanwhile, back at the fort, we have Burris himself. His tombstone — already bought and erected! — strongly suggests this guy needs some help. Seen it? It looks like a giant granite resume for the afterlife. This poor little prick. He's been trying so hard for so long, and he alway gets the blowoff.

Ultimately, he's just another one of us. Those of lives of quiet desperation. But, damn, a granite tombstone the size of a bus that lists, among other things, experience as an exchange student in the early 60s.