John Thain - MIT and Harvard Grad

Elite Lad Eases Marble Turd Into $35,000 Toilet Bowl

John Thain poses on the floor of America's World's Biggest Toilet Bowl.

Once again, one of the best and the brightest steps forward to remind us that you really have to go to one of the elite schools to prove just how dumb, corrupt, venal, criminal you are. Just how smart do you have to be to spend $35,000 on a toilet, $1.2 million on one office? You have to be Harvard smart. And that is mighty smart, by jimminy. It's George Bush smart, Antonin Scalia smart, Robert Rubin smart. Smart enough to blow trillions and trillions on nuthin' at all. (Trillions and trillions. They got Carl Sagan beat by a mile.) George W. Bush, John Thain, Antonin Scalia, Robert Rubin - Harvard, Yale men all - with a healthy representation of MIT, Chicago, Stanford, etc.

Which comes first? The sheer stupidity or the gross venality? Are these smart people who get too arrogant or fucking morons who have an easy road to privilege. I personally think that most people are fairly intelligent, given the opportunity. Sadly, most of the most never have a snowball's chance in hell. But a rich, white boy sidling his pimply ass into a seat at Harvard? Like, say, William Weld, former Governor of Massachusetts, onetime national contender. Got his political ass kicked and went on and upward to set up a money laundering operation at a diploma mill. Now that's the kind of stupid you really need a Harvard degree for. You need to go to a 'leadership institution' to manage that.

As for John Thain, MIT undergrad and HBS grad (Harvard Business School to those not privy to Cambridge-speak). Well, John Thain, super-genius, wiley bankster, favorite to take the reins at Shitigroup (umbrella logo conceived by elite designer Paula Scher) deemed it essential to blow $1.2 million on renovations to his office, including $35,000 on a toilet bowl.

And you thought it took the Pentagon to spend money like that.

But, hey, things are looking up. Obama's got Larry Summers, Timothy Geithner, Austan Goolsbee & Co. on the job.

Whoops.

And for those who may wonder . . .

Just what does a $35,000 toilet bowl look like? Well, my comrades, my droogs, I still looketh. The best so far? $2,300 for a Kohler contraption. I will update you inquirying types when I have Innnnformation.

As of 4:55pm Eastern Time, Sunday, 1 February, 2009, We Have Struck you-know-what: