Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In Case You Forgot, the Environment is a Disaster

The World Wildlife Fund has released its Living Planet Report. There's some good news and there's some bad news.

The good news is: We ain't dead yet. The bad news is: We will be, we will be.

The report concludes that "Humanity's demands exceed our planet's capacity to sustain us" (as if that was news). Britain's Guardian newspaper has a nice summation of the reports findings, which can be boiled down to
"[H]umans are using 30% more resources than the Earth can replenish each year, which is leading to deforestation, degraded soils, polluted air and water, and dramatic declines in numbers of fish and other species."
That's the average for the world as a whole. Humans in civilized countries like the United States are only using maybe 900% more resources than the Earth can replenish.

People like Michael Bloomberg or Stephen Schwarzman (the Blackstone chief who threw himself a multi-million dollar birthday party) use 100,000% more than the Earth can replenish. BUT THAT IS THEIR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT, by God! And if you suggest otherwise, you're an America-hating, Palin-bashing, anti-American Commie Pinko Socialist Marxist Anarcho-syndicalist BASTURD!

BUT there is a silver lining:


IF, by the 2030s (a big twenty years away), we can find A SECOND EARTH, we can all keep living just the way we are now.

So, Solution 1: The Earth 2 Buyout Fund. Congress must allocate $750 TRILLION to find and acquire Earth 2. Alternatively, we can use Earth 1 to build Earth 2. . . . No, no, that's not it. We can clone Earth 1. Or maybe we can do that thing like in Arthur C. Clarke's 2010, only use Jupiter to manufacture Earth 2. That would create jobs. (I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United Nations based on a platform of job creation through Jupiter reconstruction for Earth 2.)

Solution 2, favored by Republicons, Bloombergs and other fascists: Find a way for 99.99% of the world's population to live on 10% of the absolute minimum needed for basic human survival so that Wall Street, innately superior Corporate Executives, and members of Congress can live on the remaining 100,000%. Advantage: This is the solution already being worked on by Michael Bloomberg, Bush, McCon, Palin, and company.

Do I sound a little sarcastic? Pessimistic? Cynical? I apologize. Something about chronically suicidal, species-wide self-annihilation, endorsed by the enlightened 'experts' and 'leaders', just gets me a little down. That's all.

Plus. . . . I have a friggin' cold.

In the future, I will do my best to be more optimistic about the tiny tiny minority of self-appointed ├╝ber-supremicists destroying the lives of the rest of us.

Digg!

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