Saturday, October 18, 2008

OBAMA KIDNAPPED THE LINDBERGH BABY!

Republicons, led by John McCon and Sarah Plain, are pulling out the stops. Desperation will do that. Remember that this is a guy who tells us that experience — most especially the experience of Vietnam — has prepared him for all the troubles that might come down upon us. But McCon is acting more like the folks in a Hollywood spoof. PANIC! PANIC! He and Sarah are running around like the sky is falling.

So here's a partial rundown of the charges:
  • Obama is a socialist.
  • Obama is a mole for "jihadis"
  • Obama is a crypto-Muslim
  • Obama would let people like Mohommed Atta get a driver's license
  • Obama is palling around with terrorists
  • Obama pals around with uppity blacks like Jeremiah Wright
Who's this supposed to win over? Reagan Democrats — also known as "racists"? Barefaced, unabashed racists — also known as "Conservatives"?

Clearly, McCon and his Eva Braun need a little help. So it's time for a contest:

WHAT CAN OBAMA BE BLAMED FOR?

There need to be some ground rules:
  1. Obama can only be blamed for events since 1900. Dred Scott decision is impermissible (bad example anyway, because McCain/Palin support Dred Scott). Benedict Arnold is right out.
  2. Obama can only be blamed for events that will happen before the sun goes nova. End of the universe is off limits.
  3. No dead languages, please. Welsh, Aramaic, French — all fine. No Etruscan.
  4. Please avoid glaring contradictions (all other contradictions are fine). So blaming Obama for the US getting into Vietnam and for losing Vietnam is a stretch.
  5. If you do feel compelled to blame Obama for something unusual like, say, the Crucifixion of Christ, please make it plausible — Obama will need a time machine.
Submitting your candidates (candidates, get it? . . . I made myself laugh)
Example:
Or . . .
"OBAMA SPEAKS IN TONGUES!"

Write your suggestion on the most offensive postcard you can find and mail to:
John McCain 2008
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

Or call 703-418-2008

Send in your idea and if McCain wins,
you get a "Special IRS Audit". So it's a win-win!

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